Denture Misadventure image

Denture Misadventure

Commended, Caterpillar International Poetry Prize, 2017

A poem for kids by Lyn Halliday


My nana took her false teeth out;

She does it every night.

She puts them in a special glass

Then switches off the light.


But late one night she changed her mind,

And stowed them in her bed.

So as she nodded off to sleep

They lay beneath her head.


Next morning it was washing day;

She bundled up the sheet.

She stuffed it in the wash machine

And turned the knob to heat.


She dressed herself and brushed her hair

But could not find her teeth.

She searched the bedside table drawers

And checked the floor beneath.


She scratched her head and thinking hard

She listened to the wash,

And then a clink and toothy clunk

Was heard amid the slosh.


She saw them then, go round and round.

She watched them do a spin.

And with each passing turn there flashed,

A pinkish pearly grin.


There was no way that she could stop

That cycle mid way through,

But horrified, she saw her gums

Were melting into goo!


At last she turned the knob to off

And pulled those choppers out.

She moulded them back into shape

And squished the gums about.


Those falsies with their perfect fangs,

They came out sparkling clean.

And when she popped them in her mouth

Her grin now had a gleam.


But then my grandad poked his head

Around the laundry door.

“Oh hello dear. I’ve losth my theeth—

I found yours on the floor!”